sporklet 14

Matt Rowan

All of Me

All of me is everywhere. It was like a willful explosion of me. One day: boom and it’s out of here and all over everywhere. I’m all over everywhere, and for that reason I’m feeling gross. I’m feeling like a gross thing that nobody likes and nobody wants to see. Think of horrible flavors and terrible combinations of sights and smells. That’s what I am, and that’s what I feel like. Slithering through everywhere all the time.


So if you see me, and you will, look away. Look away quickly. Don’t feel bad about looking away. I already expect it. People need to look away. They must. Looking at anything but away would be too horrible for them to bear, and I would feel the unbearable horribleness they feel, and it would only make things worse.


In fact, you better run, the good that running would do. No, no it’s no use. Running. I’ll catch you because I already have. I’ve already caught up to you. I’m already there. Here I am. Here is me, all around you.


I’m not the blob, but only because I’m everywhere. I’m everywhere and the blob was only a lot of something somewhere, still able to be compartmentalized in that way. I am not. I’m everywhere in the worst way because I’m here already. And I feel terrible about making you do it, be around me. And this goes back to why I encouraged you to look away, which would of course amount to not looking at anything ever lest you only look at me.


You are effectively blinded by my omnipresence. My horrible, ungainly omnipresence, and for that I am deeply sorry.

Matt Rowan lives in Los Angeles. He edits Untoward Magazine. He’s author of two story collections, Big Venerable (CCLaP, 2015), Why God Why (Love Symbol Press, 2013) and another, How the Moon Works, forthcoming from Cobalt Press. He’s also a contributing writer and voice actor for The Host podcast series. His short story, “The Ok Grocery Store Corral,” was long-listed by The Wigleaf Top 50 (Very) Short Fictions 2013. His work has appeared in TRNSFR, >kill author, Always Crashing, Grimoire, and Necessary Fiction, among others.