HOW TO GET SICK AND STAY SICK:
1) Complain all the time about everything.
2) Be irritable, resentful and hyper-critical toward yourself
3) Do things you don’t like, and avoid doing what you really
4) Fill your mind with dreadful pictures, and then worry most,
if not all of the time.
5) If you are overstressed and tired, ignore it and keep pushing
6) Blame other people for all your problems, and deny all
7) Shun anything that resembles a sense of humor.
8) Avoid changes that would bring you greater satisfaction
9) Think about all the awful things that could happen to you.
Dwell upon negative, fearful images.
10) Watch TV and read to reinforce your viewpoint that there is no hope.
11) Hate yourself. Blame yourself mercilessly and incessantly.
12) Associate with people who are unhappy and embittered.
NOTE HOW THE DREAD PARASITE AFFECTS THE OCCUPANTS OF THE FOLLOWING STUDY.
THIS IS THE REAL BEGINNING OF THE STORY:
for the fat lady.” Stand in line at Baskin-Robbins. Get your ice cream
first you win; waiting felt like losing. I bit my tongue. “The fat lady
makes better ice cream, trust the fat lady,” Mother said. It wasn’t fair.
Ice cream should weigh like gold. I frequently got a story about how it
wasn’t healthy to be fat, but not to mock those that were. “They’re God’s
children too.” I suppose so, so I wait. Like I’m in a rush for freshman
biology. Friday lunch off campus with mother taught me to eat proper.
Today Mother was too busy watching the manager lick a drip of mocha almond
fudge from his thumb. “No No NO” she screamed. I froze fight or flight.
Candy was in 5th period biology. She was
the hottest thing I’d ever seen. Her parents were Baptist so she could
bleach her hair. “She has VD,” Crazy Mary whispered when Candy walked
past. Of course she does. Vulva Delight. It must be really good, all the
girls say it like they want it. Stupid fat Mary used to always flirt with
me after lunch in biology. Biology has all the action, and we were the
chosen few who got 5th period after lunch smoke break for Mr. Howard.
All the animals got us thinking. Touching the frog parts.
Fat ugly Mary learned how to blow spit
bubbles and that was my last straw. How I tried to be proper cause stupid
Mary’s mom was the Sunday school leader. Mid terms roll around we were
all sitting quietly chewing erasers and cheating, watching Mr. Howard
smoke Virginia Mild 140’s out the window. Ugly tubby Mary kicks my chair
across the aisle. “I’ll put a spell on you my sister’s boyfriend’s a witch
I know how.”
It didn’t stop. Nothing made it stop. I
watched Candy’s blouse stretch across her back and I could see a bra strap.
I had to quit looking it got me woody. Tubby crazy Mary keeps kicking.
I snap reach over and grab her chubby ankle and twisted with that grit
teeth all I could muster strength. Mary lets out the biggest macaroni
and cheese fart you’d ever heard wet like warm olive loaf slaps together.
As I do in any really stressful situation I laugh uncontrollably. Then
fat ugly Mary turns this bright purple tears streaming from her face.
She lets out the dinosaur shriek from Land of the Lost and waddles gallops
out the door.
I’m laying on the floor crying laughing
trying to keep pee from coming out. I really hated having to sacrifice
stupid ugly Mary honest but it got me notice from Candy with VD. I wanted
her so bad I used to fake liking burnt hamburgers just so we could go
to Shoney’s. Her dad owned Shoney’s and Custom Oak Furniture and everybody
said he was in the Mafia. Candy got to wait tables afternoons.
I wanted her so bad. And she had a job.
And she was Mother’s most hated waitress. Mother started getting the runs
after Shoney’s. “Stupid trollop pissed on my quiche don’t repeat that.”
Several weeks of Shoney’s and Mother has to go to the doctors. It turns
out it wasn’t Vanilla Decadence Candy’s urine at all, but an intestinal
fluke. A fluke, or mistake, makes sense.
Para equals very bad, and site means look
at. Popular indeed, doctor says everybody gets ‘em. Worms in the belly
take a pill and this made me very uncomfortable. Only good things happen
to me and worms crawling around my belly isn’t good not one bit.
Fig. 7 (L to R) Human intestinal fluke, pancreatic
fluke, sheep liver fluke, and human liver fluke.
THIS IS THE END OF THE EXAMPLE.
Note that every character was negatively affected by a parasite. The real
antagonist was the dread parasite. What if you always found every mysteriously
ill person had some unsuspected parasite or pollutant?
Health isn’t just being free of sickness.
Health is feeling like laughing again. Health is remembering the good
parts of childhood and believing you still have a lot of them left to
live. (Clark, 1997)
In even seemingly innocent moments, the parasite looms. That vague anonymous
evil of the body. That one corner of the triangle of life over which you
have no control.
Step 1: Search for the parasites generating the painful regions
and identify strain. This will yield clues as to the origin.
Step 2: Exterminate all rational thought.
Step 3: Find the parasites and identify the source.
With these steps taken, all current pain will be eliminated. “You do not
have to know exactly how parasites make you sick in order to get well.”